Dedication to Madilynn Noel Stroud - We Fought to meet you

5-12-14 The Morning after the longest day of my life.

         Madilynn, I want to hold you, sing to you, rock you to sleep, watch cartoons while we cuddle, I miss all of our time together and so afraid to say goodbye. I don't want to see you go and just want to be there for you forever. But before goodbye was even a forced possibility, the anticipation to say hello for the first time is still fresh in my mind.

From the first day I saw you in your momma's belly, and the first sound of that swisha swoosha swisha of your sweet little heart beat of the first ultrasound, tears filled my eyes and a smile would not leave my face. I fell deeply in love, instantly, and couldn't wait to share the news about you. It was so exciting to see and hear for the very first time. I can still hear it distinctively from this day. It wasn't much longer that we learned that you were gonna be a little girl.

Nurse: Her legs are so close together I could barely tell
Me: And She better keep them that way too!
[Nurse and your mommy burst into laughter, protective daddy already begins]

         There were some slight scares throughout the pregnancy, mostly with "spotting" and a lot of bed rest. I was constantly trying to take care of the house, do yard work outside, cook when I could, lift all the heavy things, constantly remind your mom to go sit down or lay down so the swelling wouldn't get too bad so I could actually meet and hold you in person. I was so scared that I was gonna lose you.  This started 4-5 months into the pregnancy, some days were very frustrating and just felt like I was just being taken advantage of. I tried to just ignore it and was determined to meet you.

          I remember we had to go to some class at the hospital to prepare for your birth. They played some nasty graphic video of  childbirth. I'm sorry but there is nothing "Beautiful" of what takes place and I refused to actually see you coming out. Yes it is an experience, but that is one sight I didn't want to see ;).  A couple weeks later, we were celebrating our anniversary and went to Paragon Casino. I remembered how bored I was for my bachelor party the first time me and my close friends went and how we actually had a better time at the cabins we were staying at. (I never really was big on partying anyway, all that stuff is over rated baby, you didn't miss much) Your mom heard that her clients always had a good time there and she knew I liked casinos, she was also still on bed rest and couldn't do many things without having to be cautious about swelling and her blood pressure spiking. We had to be extra careful to be sure you would come to us as healthy as possible. It's like I said, from day one, we fought to make your happiness a reality.

         By the end of the weekend, your mother's swelling got worse. We drove back home, I was a nervous wreck that whole night and went into work the next morning while your mom went see her doctor and got the news that we needed to prepare for your arrival. This was about a week or two early from the expected due date. Your mom called me and gave me the news. I started pacing all over the room back and forth and finding ways to be busy, trying to keep everything on the outside together, while on the inside I was trying to figure out when I should ask to leave. Will you be OK? I hope you are healthy. What will you look like? I can't wait to meet you! My boss and co-workers could see the frantic excitement I was carrying inside me, and my boss gave me permission to leave early so I could be with your mom as she went to her room to get prepared for your arrival.

As I arrived at the hospital, I was stuck counting down the minutes, kind of like I am now, but instead of waiting to say goodbye, I couldn't wait to say hello. As the hours went by and the lack of sleep continued to grow. I watched your mom in pain, as you stubbornly but slowly began to make your way into the world. I didn't want a big crowd in the room as we waited for your arrival. I Stepped out of the room for the epidural and things went a lot faster after that. The contractions became stronger, and everything we watched in the video was basically happening one step at a time. I slept maybe one hour that night but the adrenaline had me wide awake. Finally the nurse checked her levels and went get the doctor, when the doctor came in, she said it's time to start pushing! This was so exciting to me, the only way i knew how to coach was from sports, so I did the best I could.

Feet just like her daddy

Me: Push, Push, Push, Push.....now breath
[I said this over and over.]
Doctor: You're doing great Jenny don't stop
Me: You can scream if you need to when you push
Your mommy: starts screaming as she pushes
Doctor: Yea please don't...
Me: laughing quietly to  myself then saying "Push Push Push, now breath"

As if we were in a weight room and I am spotting her as she is doing bench presses. The atmosphere seemed fitting. I made the mistake of saying "Now Relax." as you were almost with us, Annoyed and in pain, your mom looks at me and says, "RELAX?!?!?" I busted out laughing this time as my awkwardness made its way out of my lips and when I looked at the Doctor, even she cracked a smile, probably thinking "What a goober". After a quick snip to give more room, You came flying out and the doctor catches you. As you made your way Into this world, and the nurse cleared your lungs, I heard the most beautiful yell, ringing out for the whole hallway to hear. It was like a little pterodactyl scream and I couldn't have been happier fighting back my tears of joy. Nose flaring, lip quivering, I was the first to hold you and look into your beautiful innocent eyes. Something I will never forget. As I look down at you, tears start to roll down my cheek. You look back at me wondering who I was. The nurse laid you on the cleaning table and I held your little hand and put an oxygen mask to your face to help you breath. I was a bit nervous, but they said you were OK, healthy, and the happiness was just beginning for you.

Love at first sight!

The story is about to begin...

      Coming from a divorced family, I've learned a lot from both of my parents. Often, a person will react either two ways. During a childhood experience, a person will learn and reciprocate the experience and apply it to his/her future or that person will learn to do the opposite of the experience depending on how it has affected the outcome of the person's life.

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." - Sir Isaac Newton, Third Law of Motion

Even though this law is for that of physical science, in my experience, theoretically you can apply this law to psychology as well. You will be involved in situations in your life, where you either react negatively or positively from it, and there will be other factors that are affected from this effect either as a benefit or a loss. The unique thing about our lives individually is that we can control whether or not we have a positive or negative impact on our lives. Ultimately, something will be learned from each experience in your life and that is why we are here to Learn, everything, all the time. It is a lesson and the capacity of our brain is endless.

Top: Myself, Mom, Older Sister
Bottom: Younger sister, Step father

Mom, Dad, If you read this, I know you were very young when you had both my sister and I, and you had many things you were learning on the road of life for yourselves. One thing you accomplished that I have not is seeing your children grow up to be educated, goal oriented, hardworking individuals. That is something to be proud of and I love and am appreciative for helping us get to where we are now. Without y'all and my stepfather, none of what I have accomplished would have been possible.

My Dad, Marques Colston, Myself

What I have learned growing up as a kid, is how ugly divorce is. How much pain it puts on everyone affected by it no matter what age. There will be sadness, pain, confusion, etc. Sometimes, the reactions are vented involuntarily to other parties; family, friends, but most of all children. The love from your child does not compare to the love from your spouse. In a child's eyes, the love for a parent is the world to them. When the child sees the parent hurting, the child hurts with them, same with every other emotion that the parent may experience. (This is my personal observation from being both a parent and child in a situation of Divorce).

In both scenarios it was also decided it was best for the child(ren). What I promised myself and Madilynn even before I was married, before I had a child, is that I would never get a divorce, I don't believe in it. I also made a promise to myself that I would love my daughter endlessly, so she would never feel a void from me and could always trust that her daddy was gonna be there for her. I did the best that I could and still hold true to that belief, but sometimes life has other plans that are out of my control. The only thing I can do is sit here and wonder where do I go from here, how do I adapt from this. I don't have all the answers, might not ever have them, but I can't give up.

Dedication to Madilynn Noel Stroud - Prologue

        Starting today, and one time for every following week, I will express a dedication to a love so beautiful, so profound, and an angel so sweet and loving who loved to laugh and play, that I can not fathom why God would want to take it from me so soon and not allow me to watch it flourish before my eyes as the years grow older. Madilynn Noel Stroud was only two years, one month, and 25 days when she left my life to experience the divinity of Heaven (Yes I know she is there, and that gives me peace, even though I miss her constantly). It was the longest day of my life as time seemed to have stopped and then move slowly. then the week began to drag out even longer. I try to write as many memories as possible of the times we had together, and I am happy that I was able to experience every bit of that time with Madi, I just wish I could have had more. She was the only person I have ever had touch my heart to where she could make me laugh right after I have been crying, or after a long taxing day at work, when I would go pick her up, her wide open arms, huge smile, and sprint to me with a sparkle in her eyes, that would suddenly brighten my day. Ultimately my new lifelong goal is to master patience as this has been one of my greatest flaws. I hate that this is the way I have to master this challenge of life, but it is the only way I will get to love, kiss, and hug my sweet baby girl again for eternity in Heaven.

      Throughout the days of my intense mourning, constant questions, feelings of worthlessness, empty stomach and insufficient sleep, I also managed to write something that I felt that was sent straight from God. Please feel free to share this following message. I honestly believeHis message is to love unconditionally and forgive often. But learn from the past. The day before Madilynn's funeral I printed 150 of these papers. I still own the original but the message I am expressing is very powerful. The message comes directly from my heart and mind, and if I didn't believe it was true, I would not be sharing it with you right now.

       "If there is anything that Madi taught me, it is that God surrounds us in life. He is everywhere and in everything, constantly reminding us that He is there with us. What I never noticed or understood, until I had my baby girl, is that if you do not allow God into your HEART, then you are just going through the motions. You cannot experience unconditional love, you cannot truly forgive anyone or honestly understand anything if God is not allowed into your heart.

         You can go to church, surround yourself with Christian people, read the Bible over and over, and throw verses at people like rocks to try to break their spirit. If God is not in your heart,then you may never understand the lessons the Bible holds. A person can go through every motion possible, but if God is not allowed in your heart, 100%, then you will not appreciate your purpose in life and never understand or accept unconditional love for anything else. This world is so deep, and has more than just individual feelings or thoughts. Madi and I loved each other and I would sacrifice everything for her. She was my life, my world, my everything, now she's gone and left me with this message.

Share love for everyone, so God can fill your heart and not just surround your life. That is the only way you will truly appreciate anything."

I love you Madilynn Noel,
You were my one and only "lil butt"

Matt Stroud

Good people deserve Great Recognition

A Good friend of mine, Brent Hulin, Recently participated in a Charity Poker Event related to his profession. What was great about Hulin not only participating in this event, but actually Winning it and putting the winnings to great use.It is safe to say that not many of Brent's coworkers are aware of his hidden talent....well not really hidden for those who know him and play against him regularly....but in the real world where poker is just gambling and a game of chance, Brent's skills may have been a surprise to many.He shared this awesome news with me and I wanted to jump on the chance to interview him because what he did with his winnings from the tournament is what very few poker players would do and shows just how much of a class act guy he is!

Where was this tournament held? Anaheim Convention Center

Did the tournament have a name? Milestone Aviation Group 2^nd Annual Poker Tournament                       

Was there a buyin or was it sponsored? Sponsored by Milestone Aviation Group. There was a field of 90 entrants in the helicopter, leasing and aviation world in attendance. Final table spots won prizes from charitable donations to a $20K watch (first place).                        

Is this a yearly event? Or just a one time thing, sounds like a great way to meet fellow colleagues in your field. This was the 2^nd Annual Tournament.

It’s an event that is held one evening during the Helicopter Association International https://www.rotor.com/

Upon entering the tournament was it a requirement to have charities to donate to? The winners were able to choose their charities after the tournament.

How long have you been playing poker and who would you say have been your biggest influence in learning the game? I started playing poker about 10 years ago. Texas Hold Em’ was very popular at the time. I joined some co-workers after work at a bar called Pete’s. They taught me about the game and I won a few bucks that night. I was hooked! I started playing in some online games and started playing house games and hosting cash games of my own. There were some nights I’d play till 6 in the morning at friends houses winning a few hundred bucks. I cashed 5^th place in 2009 in the United Way Poker Tournament for $1k. The buyins were split into charity / cash payouts. Due to my busy work and life schedule I hadn’t played poker in about 18 months. I just got back into the game in February. I followed my good friend Kevin Eyster while I took my hiatus. He has a special talent and never gave up on his dream. He is definitely an influence to me when I think about the psychology of the game.

What was the coolest thing you have won/received that has been involved with poker. My good friend Kevin Eyster and I played poker together for many years when I was in college. I signed a deck of cards for him once when I beat him up in a cash game. After he moved away and started playing in some big name tournaments he stopped in town one night by my apartment to visit. He had the munchies and ate a box of Cheez-its Hot & Spicy. I told him when he wins a big tournament he better send me a signed box of Cheez-its and it better be the Hot & Spicy! A few months ago I received my signed box of Cheez-it Hot & Spicy after he won the WPT Seminole Hard Rock Showdown and cashed a cool $660K. I won’t be eating those anytime soon!

I hope you don't eat those Cheez-Its buddy. One that is priceless story, and two I can't guarantee the health risk you would be taking haha.


If you still don't know who Kevin Eyster is,here is a short clip of the WPT Seminole Event Mr. Hulin is referring to where Tony "Bond18" Dunst breaks down the great poker play of 1$ickDisea$E

Update: The original article is no longer available online, but here's what it said....I'll make his fame last forever ;)

March 31 -- St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis and a local chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation are each receiving a $7,500 donation, thanks to Brent Hulin’s poker-playing skills in a charity tournament held at Heli-Expo.

Brent, who works in global aircraft sales and acquisitions in New Iberia, took second place in the event, which was sponsored by aircraft lessor Milestone Aviation Group. Approximately 90 people entered the tournament.

“I started playing poker for fun about 10 years ago and mostly play home games but I have done well in tournaments before,” Brent says. “So you could say I have some poker skills but there is always luck involved.”

Special significance
Brent’s choices of St. Jude and Make-A-Wish are not random selections, as both organizations had a major impact on his life while he was battling leukemia when he was 15 years old.

“I was being treated at Tulane University in New Orleans and was having a difficult time with the chemotherapy treatments,” Brent says. “They consulted with St. Jude to change up the treatments and it helped but it was still a tough year.”

The Make-A-Wish Foundation offered Brent a wish and the avid football fan made the most of it, choosing to attend the Super Bowl in San Diego in January 2003 (Tampa Bay 48, Oakland 21). His only regret is that his favorite team, the New Orleans Saints, wasn’t playing.

Now 29, Brent is in full remission. “It was almost half my life ago but I am glad to be able to make these donations and thanks to Milestone for putting on the tournament.” 

caption: Bristow’s Brent Hulin (right) won second place at Milestone Aviation Group’s poker tournament at Heli-Expo and $15,000 in charitable donations.

Posted 31-Mar-2014 17:49:14 CDT

F@*& Cancer! And Everything about it.

Recently I have learned that some people close to me have either just found out about having some type of cancer, or have been battling it for a while now. This is crap, just the fact that I don't understand it, like many. The only way to cure it is to basically put your body through pain and stress known as Chemotherapy and actually pay doctors and hospitals for this unusual form of torture. I guess my aggravation with the whole matter is that I just don't want to believe that this is the only way to kill it. One day as I was actually thinking about this. There was an article that came up in my facebook news feed how a group of Students at Stanford University actually came up with an alternative way and have been researching this. You can actually read this article HERE if you are wondering what I read. 

I'll be honest, I don't know much about Cancer, how its formed, and what it takes to get rid of it.  I do know that it is my astrological sign, (which is totally irrelevant to this blog) and that I hate it and everything about it. I also know that in order to get through it, You must stay positive and be optimistic, and the larger of a support group you have, the better, but above all, you cannot let the cancer defeat your spirit. If anything, getting through this will make you a stronger person and more influential to others that are close to you in your life.

The first I would like to talk about is a beautiful baby girl who has been battling a cancerous tumor by her face and neck since August 2013 at 19 months. She has had a very great spirit and she is also very loveable. I think what is even better about this story is the huge following she has gained and support system that has grown thanks to the extreme unselfish love provided by her Nanny Jennifer and Uncle Ryan Romero. They have been there every step of the way and Jennifer has literally been by her side to care for lil Aubrie. Recently there was an awesome benefit to help raise money with multiple bands, silent auctions, great food, just an awesome celebration that I unfortunately had to miss because It fell on my work week, but from what I heard the turnout was amazing.
You Can learn more about Aubrie and her battle at the website http://www.prayers4aubrie.com/


I just recently learned that my wonderful Aunt Holly was also diagnosed with breast cancer. I was actually in shock when I heard this and it still feels unreal to me. But I am confident that she can defeat this because she is a very strong woman and every single memory I have of my aunt she always has the Greatest smile on her face. She recently retired from Teaching after 30 years of putting up with bratty children, I don't blame her haha. But to be honest, I've never heard one complaint and everyone who she taught loved her. I just want her to know that even though this battle has just began for you, There will be many people around to love you, Especially your children Tim and Shelly, your silly grand babies, and of course your loving, goofy husband Uncle Glenn. Oh by the way, sorry but I had to put an embarrassing picture of you as well ;) love you!


Finally, a good poker buddy and friend of mine, Francis Nguyen, recently learned that his mother was also diagnosed with cancer. I don't know much details about this, but I know that all things are possible if you pray, stay optimistic, and believe that nothing is impossible and that you will prove it by getting through it! If there is anyone else out there that I may have left out I just want you to be strong and believe that things can only look better! If you ever need to talk, or a little extra support, I'm here for you.